The World I Live in

I watched so many soap operas, so many korean and japanese series, so many american serials, its a part of my job. and the common theme among those series and soap operas are either cinderella stories or romeo and juliet. a woman longing for her prince charming, knight who will rescue her from the horrible life she lives in. and then desperate lovers, wanting so much to be with each other but situation comes in between, break them apart. some may have happy endings but some more have sad endings. I am kind of liking the sad ending one. probably because my life isnt that far from it. I have a lot of things to be happy with, to be grateful with. but love is not among those things. i never have good luck in that department. I either become the stupid one who is waiting desperately for the guy i love who will never love me back, or finding the right guy but not the right man. I think i am suck in this. but never mind, I will write down one of my stories. I am only sharing my experience, ...

There are times when people come to me and tell me "YOU CANT DO IT" and I just walk away from them and says " I KNOW I CAN". There are times when what those people said to me come true. I couldn't do it, its not done. And they are all clapping hands as if saying "See, I told You so". I smile and walks away, but say "Thank you for the lesson"! Some times in our lives, people comes to break our spirit, to bring us down. Let them do what they want to do, if we believe in ourselves, there's no need to listen every negative words people throwing at us. I grew up with a parent who always have one or more negative things to say every day. And I learned to be a coward because they kept on telling me about the bad consequences. I learned to be careful, but I learned not to take a risk. I learned not to break the boundaries. But then, I start asking myself. What is life if we never feel the rush of adventure. What's left to be told if we never ...

There was this feeling hanging in the air When the sight of you broke into my space And those time when we didn't know each other But totally aware about each other... Those moment, the memory that I stored in the back of my mind Surfacing slowly... There were words left unspoken And just laughter and smile we shared While glancing on each other from the distance And the story we were supposed to share But never got to experienced it together We were in our own worlds... I had you in my heart, you kept me in your mind But we weren't telepathic creatures... Didn't understand or couldn't comprehend What happened back then... You knew my name, I often wrote yours... But neither one of us, had the courage Of uttering each other's name When we crossed each other's path I was Jumpy, Awkward, nervous Got this excitement goosebumps Whenever I caught you in my sight My vision tunnelled down to you... Even when you were hidden in the crowd And Now... so many...

You said I am an invaders But you have invade my life I never have a plan to know you If this is invasion Then I am ready for war Come and Bring it on You are the invader Trespassing my life Violating boundaries And you slowly walk away As if nothing ever happened I curse the day I met you I Wish to be able to restart the life And left it all behind, let you passed by You are trespasser, invader and violator! And my anger will fall on you...

It's hurt so much When the attractions is faked Wrong to think, painful to feel It's a crush, but it has been crushed This is a heart, covered with tears of blood Angers filling in the space, nothing but emptiness I'm drowned into the dept of the ocean Thinking that Its better to disappear Let it be gone and no one will remember Because there's of no use anymore Those moments of laughter, has turn into tears You are standing there, watching me as if I am nothing but a statue Obsession to own, engulfed you into desire there is no love, no feeling Just a bit of lust and you try to justify as love It was a crush... but you had it crushed Because I am a flesh and blood with heart Not just dead statue to be watched!

Seperti Melayang Menanggung Bulan dalam pelukan Memetik bintang berkalung awan lalu menari berselendang pelangi Menjejak jemari, menyanyi bersama suara bumi Adalah Indah Rasa ketika mentari tersenyum dan bersanding dengan rembulan yang menyulut malam jadi terang benderang bersama gemintang Sesaat seperti berseri masa Tertawa bersama lembayung warna angkasa Ada gelisah yang terkunci lalu terlepas dan hilang Biar tenggelam, biarkan terpenggal bersama semburat cakrawala Sendiri dan sepi tak perlu lagi ada Biar lenyap bersama hujan yang hilang dalam terik mentari