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Just A Note About Myself

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It's been a long while since the last time I wrote something here. Things happened but not much has changed in my life. People still asking me, why do I hate commitment? Why do I stay where I am right now? Why don't I take risk and go out of the box, leave my comfort zone, stay where I am. Honestly, I am scared. Scared of what might happen if I step out from my comfort zone. life has been so hard on me and despite all that, I am grateful that I made out of it alive. There are times when I thought I might kill myself, living in a 7 floors building with an easy access to the emergency staircase and leaped off from the top of this building. I've been living here in the past 11 years so there were so many chance to do that but I didnt do it. my mom lost two of her children, my younger sister's twin were stillborn and my brother died two months after he turned 22. I can see that she's still grieving about what happened to my brother. she often said, parent shouldn...
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Budaya Alay dan Pembodohan Generasi Muda

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Akhir – akhir ini, ada budaya baru melanda generasi muda kita. Barisan huruf dan angka yang mereka bilang sebagai kata dan kemudian dikenal sebagai tulisan alay. Tidak ada yang tahu kapan tulisan aneh ini muncul, tetapi kemungkinan, setelah sebuah kontes menulis pesan singkat sangat pendek yang dibuat oleh salah satu profider yang menjadi pemicunya. Awalnya mungkin bertujuan sebagai promosi dan penyaluran kreativitas, budaya baru ini berubah jadi pembodohan masal generasi muda. Hampir semua remaja di seluruh Indonesia, tidak peduli di kota – kota besar maupun kecil, mengenal bahasa alay dan inilah yang membuat saya beranggapan bahasa ini adalah bahasa pembodohan generasi muda Indonesia. Kenapa saya bilang sebagai bahasa pembodohan? Kata – kata pada tulisan yang berputar antar para alayers, yang menyalah gunakan huruf vokal, diftong diganti dengan gabungan huruf vokal atau bahkan huruf vokal diganti dengan angka ('a' jadi 4, 'i' jadi 1, 'e' jadi angka 3 dst). Me...
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8 Years of Heartbreak - Part 2

Where did we left off?? Oh yeah... the first time i spoke with that 'Rangga' :) And yes, I was fluttering, butterflies in my stomach and such, I just couldnt describe the feeling I had that moment. I watched him walked away, frozen, standing there, still couldnt believe myself that he just spoke with me. and after a while, he turned and looked at me, puzzled and asked " why are you still standing there... come on... we both late for the class!!" I startled, fumbling with words and ended up only nodding. I walked behind him to the classroom and kept on slealing glances at his back, his wavy hair, not too long and not too short with sweat dripping as he was walking in a rush through the staircase. He turned and I immediately lowered my gaze, keep on walking fast, unaware that he just stopped and I ended up bumping his back. He startled and I stuttered apologize but he laughed. I looked at him and wondered why was he laughed. he looked at me and said " I think we ...
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